I love the fall colors.

I took this a couple weeks back...now almost all the leaves are off the trees.

Live it up...we have the chance.

I know I write about my philosophy class a lot, but this past unit was especially interesting. It was about what "right" and "wrong" really are and what they mean. Who gets to decide and is it right because they say so, or do they say so because it's right? All that good stuff. Hypothetical situation: There are 10 people in a hospital who all need a transplant for a different organ. Poor you come along with the common cold and the doctors decide that you have some nice looking organs, so they kill you and steal your organs and these 10 other people get to live. According to this ancient philosopher, that would be a "right" thing to do because more good comes from it than bad. 10 people get to live compared to your one life. The thing about that is, what if you go on in life and end up saving over 10 people. You persuade many not to commit suicide? Find a cure for cancer?

*****************************************************

I made a comment the other night, and I almost feel like I have to say something about it. So...tentatively I come forth:

It's hard to think about how things might work if something different happened instead of the reality that did take place. Okay, that's worded a little bit confusing. But anyway, my parents met when they were still in school. Mom was 15 and dad was...umm, 17ish. They were basically the only "real" relationship each other had ever been in. So 2 years later, I hate to be the burden, but my parents had a choice to make as whether they wanted to a child. All I have to say, since I am given the chance to say something, is I am so proud of my mom's stubborn personality.

When I was told this, I really didn't know what to think. Now I think a lot about what might have happened if she had been more like me...always giving in to what other people say, not fighting against "everyone else", voicing my opinion less often than I could. Am I fulfilling my chance, the chance I might not have gotten? Am I giving life all I've got, living it up? I wonder what her life would be like if she had gone through with what I can say is unthinkable on my end. Maybe things would be better right now for her...now it seems like she can't even think out what she's doing. I'm straying away from the point, but basically what I'm trying to say, is that I know that abortion isn't a "joking" matter, no matter how much I miss sonic drinks. I'm sorry.

Road Trip!!!

Busy week...I've got 2 tests, i've done a speech already (i hope i didn't screw that up, but...knowing me...), i've "done an interview" (A-, GO ME!), and I'M GOING TO MICHIGAN THIS WEEKEND. I'm excited about that. It'll give me a break. It'll be me, sam, and amanda...and we're going through canada. I'm not sure what to expect, but we're spending the weekend at Sam's house. It'll be fun. They've talked me into going to see "Saw III"...i'm not a big scary movie fan. Actually, scary movies really scare me. I can't normally even watch the commercials. Sam LOVES scary movies though. Like I said, I'm not sure what to expect this weekend.

Long night, ending very awkwardly

I went to my mom's this weekend...i don't understand what's going on with her. I'm just really worried and upset about what she's doing and she just doesn't understand that.

Here are a few pics from saturday night after I finally got back from the town of social outcast. It was long and didn't exactly end the way it was supposed to. First of all, we did a "no" when it was just us girls (no guys with us)...then we split up with two of them and they ended up going to a party and the rest of us went "home". Only one came back (Suzy). The other (jenn) is okay as far as i know (she came back this morning). Me, Caitlin, Amanda, Janine

Jenn, Caitlin, Janine

Amanda, me, janine, Caitin

Well it ended with almost all the suite (including completely wasted suz and some guy that's obsessed with jenn) watching Big Fish in my room. Actually we didn't watch much of it...we spent most of the time making fun of Suzy who wouldn't remember most of the night anyway. You gotta love her! All the guy could talk about was how stupid he was to trust jenn and how much he wanted to be with her...how horrible he felt when he wasn't with her...how he was wondering what she was doing at that time...it was quite awkward actually. He was really drunk.

A Note To My Life

No matter how much I spend my time concentrating on one thing it's not like it matters anyway. Four and a half hours of studying, completely worthless. Almost none of what I studied was on the test. Who wouldn't be upset about that! I dread to see my grade. I wanna say i suck at life, but what it really is, is life sucks at me. So here's to my life: thanks a lot for a very long day...next time i'd appreciate it if you'd stretch it even further so i can enjoy wasting more countless hours of studying late into the night of the earlier day and be wide awake that next morning at 6 with nothing to do except study more (note of sarcasm please). Dare I mention that you're lucky it's wednesday and LOST comes on tonight. You're also off the hook tomorrow due to my additional obsession to Grey's Anatomy.

I considered posting something very interesting we're talking about in philosophy, but my mood is currently horribly crappy, therefore I have no interest in thinking clearly about a class. Maybe when I'm in a better mood. Right now I'm going to talk to my canadian bio professor with the curly mustache. Fun.

Can't tell now, but it snowed last night.

Well it started snowing last night and I got really excited. I don't think that I've ever seen snow in October that I can ever remember. Buffalo got almost 2 feet last night. It's that wet, heavy, sticky kind. There are lots of problems with powerlines coming down and tree branches falling on cars and houses and crap. It's still really bad out there. There's a good 300,000 people out of power right now and some might not get any back until Monday or Tuesday. Sucks for them. I really shouldn't say that though, it might get back at me eventually.

Fredonia is completely normal colored, no white at all. We didn't get any snow that stuck, so it's just really cold. No snow, but I guess we might be getting some later tonight. Not sure.



Pic of a view at my mom's extreme-out-in-the-country new house.

A Philosophy Assignment

1) Mathematical Mark: Went to college and got a degree in math and graduated the top in his class. He spent all of his time studying in school, but he loved it. Studying is just his thing. He's reallywell-adjusted to life. He is a mathmetition (bet you didn't see that coming!), is happily married and has a family. He still spends much of his time studying and being "bookish".

2) Disco Stew: full-time swinger and partier with an incredibly high drug and alcohol tolerance. He only uses mind when it comes to picking up hot groupies. He is always partying and (hypothetically) doesn't ever suffer from hang-overs or relationship drama (he never has time to build a relationship with anyone in the first place though).

3) Matt Matrix: His entire life is spent inside a "sensory pleasure machine" (don't get perverted, i'm serious). He can do anything he wants when he wants. For example, if he wants to go skiing tomorrow, he goes and thinks that he's actually skiiing-even though he's inside a simulation machine. He doesn't know any life outside of this machine and really believes that he's living "the life". There are other people inside there that keep him company (in his mind, not actual people) but he thinks they are real. Anything that he could possible imagine he wanted to do or get he gets. (There is no "i have have everything i want so now i'm gonna get depressed and kill myself" thing going on here...just imagine this as a hypothetical situation)

Imagine ALL of these as hypothetical situations. This is actually for my philosophy class. I have to post (on the philosophy site-thing) my opinion of who I would most likely choose to be if God gave us the choice of the life to live before we're put on earth. You only get these three choices and can't mix them up. I have to explain exactly why...if I disagree with something about the person I choose then I can say it, but I just figured you guys might like to help me out.......since i'm really lazy.

You should have heard all the arguments in class this day! It was crazy.

My Mind is Wandering

My mind is really blank right now, I'm not sure this might be a good time for an update. I'll try to think of something that might be interesting.

You probably don't know these people, but Suzy, Amanda, Janine, Eduardo, and I all went to Wal-Mart yesterday and got some decorations for our common room for halloween. Well our RA is making us take a lot of it down because I guess we violated a lot of fire safety codes or something. The fire alarm goes off enough as it is. But anyway, we were a little upset about that because a lot of the afternoon was wasted doing that and considering I didn't do very much homework over fall break I could've been doing better things.

I think I might have an addition problem. I can't stop watching Lost. Caitlin has the second season and I watched it nonstop last night well into almost 2 in the morning. I need the next episode that comes on next wednesday. It's a psychological need and I think I'll officially go insane if I have to wait until wednesday. Seeing as I have no choice, I just want to let you know that it was nice knowing you and I'm sorry it had to end this way.

My mom moved out into the middle of the country/hills (tiny town called south dayton...or maybe it's called cherry creek, can't remember which one). It's completely horrible. There is nothing anywhere-including cingular service. In case you're wondering, this is a picture of an AMISH HORSE AND BUGGY DRIVING BY THE HOUSE!!! It can't get ANYMORE in the middle of NO WHERE! AMISH!!!

Well on another note, there are supposed to be snow flurries on friday someone told me. Not quite sure if I'm excited about it or not yet. It's not supposed to snow in October! It can't wait until Thanksgiving? That would be the perfect time. It's only flurries now, but when do the blizzards start?

There are vinyards all around this area, and right about now is when the grapes are being harvested. It smells so good! If you could just imagine trying to place this really sweet smell. It doesn't smell like supermarket grapes, but...i can't explain it, I'm not the best with description.

Well I hope everyone has a great week and had an awesome monday!

Happiness?

During a person’s lifetime, I wonder how many times they ask why? Okay, not as a child, but to what’s up with life in general. Surely everyone asks to someone (perhaps God or even themselves) what is the purpose of life? An eternal kingdom of heaven waits, so is our mortal form on earth is just a test? If that’s all it is, then what is our purpose in college? My thoughts were to make good grades, get a good job, make good money, buy nice things. What is the point? I think overall it’s just basic happiness, right? Like in philosophy we were talking about about happiness, but greek philosophers defined happiness as basically be "well-off".
Okay, so ask a question:
Why am I here (i’m doing homework)?
To prepare for class.
Why?
To be ready to learn.
Why?
To pass the class.
Why?
To get my degree.
Why?
To get a good job.
Why?
To make a decent amount of money.
Why?
To be able to support self, friends, and family.
Why?
To have "happiness".

Am I crazy or can you do that with almost any question you ask about something that is going on in your life or what you are doing at a moment in time?
Why should we be happy? We are being tested to be moral and righteous, but we prepare for a lifetime just to be happy during that lifetime. It sort of doesn’t even matter in the end, except for moral concepts and values and whether they were followed or not. Why do we try so hard?