~*~
What I think hurts the most is thinking that you don't care, that it meant nothing.
A mockery.
I tell myself it wasn't real.
And then it hurts worse.
~*~

Got really bored the other day with my sister so we went with one of our most irresponsible suggestions and blew a lot of money on Six Flags. It was alright, but it's always more fun when there is a larger group of people.

I finally heard from Athena, who is at BASIC training presently. It's only been about a week. She's doing great and has only gotten yelled at once. Her arms are sore (which is quite the feat, she never complains) and she's learned it is perfectly fine for her food to touch one another. She gave a few hushed complaints about the massive rear shot but it seemed like a sore subject. They get up at 5 every morning which is personally like the middle of the night for me. It just felt pretty great to hear from her, great isn't a feeling I've had for a while.

Peace out.

I've been keeping almost every single day as jam packed as I can. Keeping a blog doesn't seem worth it at all, with exception to times when I need to vent some pointless complaining in order to keep my own sanity and see it in writing so it seems a lot less of a big deal as it is in my head. Run on sentences are amazing.

My confident isn't speaking to me. And neither is the other one, but for less petty reasons. The only correspondence I have possesion of with my closest friend is via snail mail until December. Lauren's leaving at the end of July to move in with her verbally abusive nearly unresponsive ass wipe of an ex-boyfriend and I'm completely helpless in stopping her. I'm working 2 jobs and still expect myself to entertain and take care of my mother's love children which will become impossible once Lauren actually does decide to take off. Gas is too expensive, both my jobs are in two different towns outside of the one I live in but that's not near a new argument. No matter how hard I try to not have a minute to myself with my own thoughts outside of stupid writing entries in a pointless notebook I can never sleep because that's when my mind goes at it.

Days definitely need less hours involved.

I'd like to forget, but those very memories are linked to my sanity

The wise choice.


Today I officially turned down a full scholarship to University of Central Arkansas. Going back to the slightly dusted chapter of Fredonia. Along with the loans.

And on that note, I'm seriously considering joining the National Guard before I'm done with college.

flake

It feels magical to fall out of the rut of a repetitious daily schedule. At least for a little while.