He just sits there. That blank look on his face cuts deep. She can’t read it. How is she supposed to respond to this? How is she supposed act? She knows him, but all at the same time she knows completely nothing about him. Now she sees it. He should work harder. I know what you’re thinking. She won’t say it though. She can’t say it. They’ll both just sit here until he says it. It’s not working. Silence is horrible. It’s pounding, aching. She can’t handle this. But her stubborn nature is holding through. And now his expression shifts. He changes his mood. He’s hiding. It’s fake. Does he think she’s stupid? And she plays along. They’re both fake. She smiles to herself. Is this supposed to be amusing?

He’s accusing her at the same time. He knows what she’s hiding. They’re both good at lying. But he’s better. Can she sense his mood? No, because right now her face gives it away. He needs to be careful. This could be bad. She’s too smart. Damn it. He has to work to hide it. She can see it now. She’s too good. Too innocent. What’s against her? Only him. It makes him feel like shit. You’re losing something good. She won’t put up with this forever.

(Here is for old time’s sake. Watch it wes...since you force fed that never-ending whatever that was.)

*shrugs* Does it have to have a title?

And people ask if we're twins? Nothing alike. I miss her already.

When everyone in my suite came back from Thanksgiving, it was all clockwork...everyone arrived within 5 minutes of each other. Unplanned. Except me of course. I was the early one who sat there for an hour before anyone else got there. But anyway, everyone was so excited about Christmas break to come that we all put up our little Christmas tree in the common room and put our little "secret santa" presents under the tree.

It doesn't feel like Christmas. It didn't even feel like Thanksgiving.

I'm becoming a little worried about my suitemates lately actually. Every day at lunch, we all sit and watch The Price is Right. It's in the dining hall, but it's hilarious watching everyone around get into it. I can handle that. It's tolerable because, I have to admit, I get frustrated when I guess the right price and the stupid contestant screws up. But now it's Deal or No Deal. That one's on the annoying side. Also annoying is the Christmas music that is excessively playing as an undertone while they sit and play Mancala. Over and over and over. At least they don't sit around knitting constantly anymore. No wonder we have no other friends. Gotta love them.

I envy people who can draw. I wish I could draw.

Thanksgiving wasn't long enough to get a good enough breather from classes, but just long enough to forget crucial material for the Philosophy test right after it's over.

I tell myself it definately could be worse.

Finally registered for classes last week.

Pyschology MWF

English Comp MWF

Volcanoes MWF

Art History TuTh

American Cultures TuTh

Fundamentals of Communication TuTh

Didn't turn out too bad even considering I didn't "want" any of these. I'd have to take them eventually anyway. Except "volcanoes"....don't know what to expect there, but hey, it's a science credit out of the way.

I would put a picture right about here...but I'm too lazy right now.

I'm so tired...I don't know how I'm functioning right now. I'm never taking a bus again. I just got back. Pounding head, sickening smells, crowds, screaming kids, too hot, too cold...only one thing stayed steady - my mp3 player's volume up to max.

My aunt scared my family today when she got rushed to the hospital after fainting at work. I'm still not sure exactly what is wrong but she had to go into emergency heart surgery tonight because one of her valves became slightly distached. I really hate all of this. I can't think straight. My grandma is sick too. Now this.

In a Blue October mood.

hope your night was better than mine.

The first thing I did as soon as I got into little rock was go directly to sonic. Number 1 sonic burger with pickles, no mayo, no tomato. Tater tots. Lemon-berry slush with extra strawberries. That burger disappeared before we even pulled out of the parking lot. I'm not even the biggest fan of sonic's food...the drinks are the best, but beside the fact that i'd been without it for 4 long months, I'd been stuck on a bus for almost an entire day with nothing to eat except pop tarts and chips basically. Didn't really constitute as a meal.

Went to the switchfoot concert with seth friday night and it turned out pretty good. Thinking about dropping by katie's today since i haven't seen her in a while and she promised me a day to "hang out". More later if I get to a stupid computer.

...Tomorrow!...

I asked what has changed in the house since I left. Here's what I was told:

1. A wide screen television was purchased and placed in the living room.

2. My stepsister has taken over my closet.

3. My little brother is a good 3 inches taller than me.

but the most depressing by far...
4. My brother's bed broke and mine was given to him. I hope the couch is still comfy.

...5 days...

All of my classes I planned on taking next semester are closed with exception of one. Being a freshman sucks.

wednesday nights: depressing

Again, now that I think about my up coming blast from the past, I can't help to wonder where I would be if I had made a different decision. Would I ever have met these people I know now? Probably not. Who would I have met instead? Was it really the right thing to do? Ha. No regrets definately. I love it here. But I can't help but to ponder.

(*note that the below paragraph is spoken fast with frustration*)
Now what? What are my Wednesdays worth? No longer anything. No LOST! I wish February would come soon. This is very upsetting. All the more upsetting: A WEATHER ADVISORY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CLIMAX OF THE SEASON FINALE LAST NIGHT! I can't even bring myself to talk any longer about this due to the fact that i just might work myself up out of a good mood.

"The Prestige" - dare I say magical?
Cary Brothers - love it.

The days will stretch to endless measures.

Not that anyone really cares, but the overwhelming amount of work I have to do right now is unbelievable. Write and outline a speech of tribute, outline a speech of persuation, a few reading logs for an extraordinarily long chapter, a lot of stats work to be done (including a study guide for a test on friday), and fit in some time to study for a bio test on wednesday next week. But I really sort of deserve it. Beside the point that it's that time right before thanksgiving where professors have the thought in their mind that it's very important for them to cram in entire chapters and units in a matter of days before the break just so no one has to worry about anything over the holiday, I have decided to be unable to attend two whole days of class. Sure am glad that my teachers like me.

I'm leaving Erie PA (1 hour away) on wednesday night, so I'll be in Little Rock on Thursday. I don't know if you can sense my excitement but believe me, it's here. I was thinking about spending part of the weekend at Suzy's in Buffalo. She's actually from Tonawanda though, but her family moved recently (town sound familiar seth? reminder). So anyway, I'm also going to see Ben Folds on Sunday. It'll be great! It's gonna be a LONG week and a half....definately.

What does it matter?

I woke up late. I was late for class. I didn't even care. I still feel no remorse. It's not like me. I've been pretending to be in a decent mood...just so no one will ask me why. But the answer is that I really don't know why. Who cares. That's been my opinion all day.

Thanks a lot!

I was completely minding my own business, sitting on one of my friend's bed passively watching Without a Trace and thinking about certain events going on. Our entire suite was crammed in this same room (7 girls) talking about completely nothing. A couple days before was our Puerto Rican friend's 18th birthday. For the occasion, Suzy made about 2 dozen cupcakes. That's a lot of cupcakes, so of course there are still left overs. Suz and Sam decide that they both want one, left the room, and came back with three. Sam offers one too me, but due to the fact that I had eaten three good-sized fistfuls of Swedish fish, I declined. She continues to walk towards me in a dangerous fashion. The next thing I know, my face is full of a mix of brown and yellow frosting and cake. I was cupcaked.

Watch this, it's funny.

...

Even a clock that doesn't work is right twice a day.
~Polish Proverb