Wonder

The driving force is always people. Their remarks couldn't have cut deeper that day. Being a cynical smart ass didn't help the situation, but sometimes I have that problem. The house is too small to be alone anywhere. Too many people pretend to care, it's hard to get away.

The pounding rain was the only comfort, and the sound of it lightened my mood. You called me, and you could tell something was wrong. You always can, I can't hide it from you. "Let's go for a ride" you said. There was no where to go. "We have everywhere to go", you always say that.

The mud had been soaking up water for three days now. You drive, sometimes we both sit in thought, sometimes engaged in small talk. Never once did we touch. You parked somewhere undisturbed by society, but still close enough to watch.

People are astonishing we decide. We give each person a fictional life, give them stories to fill unknown gaps. What were they doing here? Who are their enemies? Friends? What is their family like? What are they hiding from the people they're with? What are their secrets?

Then we told each other our own secrets. I'm not sure if there's anything you don't know anymore. We get lost in our conversation. The night could've lasted forever. We never ran out of things to say.

We don't have a choice when it comes to life. "That's the great thing, no one gets out alive." There's no such thing as the fairy tale ending. I have no idea what I want, and I told you this. You don't know either. Time is running out. We're told we have plenty of time, but that's just what we want to hear. There's no time. Time. That moment was all that mattered.

Eventually the rain dimmed down. The drops of water collect on the windshield and windows, reflecting on the dashboard. You always pay attention to the details, always have a talent for description and creativity. Sometimes your imagination amazes me.

I still felt safe even after you left me.

I begin to live for bad days with endings like that.